All I’ve ever done is kiss. And not even kissed enough for any real practice. It’s not that I’m asexual. I really like erotic literature, and I’ve even had thoughts of writing some of my own. But how can one write about something one has never done? All I really have to go on is my imagination and what I’ve seen in pornography. My intellect tells me that neither of those have much basis in reality. And so I’ve sat here for many long moments wondering what the experience of sex is really like. What does it feels like? Hot. Sublime. I imagine the friction between their flesh and mine, so drastically different than when I am alone. So much more wondrous and profound. So much more to see and experience. What does it feel like to have another person deep in the heart of you? To look up into their eyes, watch their face, feel their breath even while you feel them inside you. Do they feel what I feel? Am I truly doing these things, wanting these things? What does it smell like? Musk.. I was getting ready for my first date with a friend. We had only ever spoken to each other on the internet, but now, finally I was going to meet him…reach out and touch him. My friends thought I was crazy…dreaming of an interlude with a sexual fantasy…someone I’d never met, but dreamed of all my life. Still…I was preparing myself for the worst…he may just turn out to be exactly what I didn’t need. But I didn’t have any major expectations. I wasn’t looking for anything concrete. I just wanted pure unadulterated sex…gentle and loving and exquisite…but sex all the same. So tonight was the big night. He was picking me up at the apartment I was staying in, and we had dinner plans and maybe a movie. I was taking extra care in the shower…everything shaved, scrubbed, cleansed and smelling wonderful. I closed my eyes and, as always, the picture of him was right there before me. I could feel myself smiling. Memories of the things we had said to each other were popping sporadically into my.
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